so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
we're chasing vodka with high fives
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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