Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
