he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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