I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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