Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
