im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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