So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
