big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
