Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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