I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
