I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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