I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
