I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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