Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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