Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
