i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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