Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
