so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
