I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
