The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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