take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
