he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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