i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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