UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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