Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
