yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
