yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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