you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
