Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize