my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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