the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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