Well douche your snatch and let's go!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
what day is it and did you see me today?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
