he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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