why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize