So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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