nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
