I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
