If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
