thus making me awesome and them whores
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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