the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
