literally had 100 drinks last night.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
it glows. i had to have it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
