dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
