remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
