O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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