Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
