Only a mothe r could love this liver
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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