yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
