Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So squirting runs in the family.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize