how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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