thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
dude. I can hear the air.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
