bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
