hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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