My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
