Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
