We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
