Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Did you pee in the oven last night??
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
