Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
