No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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