You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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