Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
