i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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