i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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