There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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