I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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