it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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