just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize
