So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
