sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
