well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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