Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize