At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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