Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
