somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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