It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
